May 2013
octopenis:
An Atheist and a Christian sit down at a bar. They both knock back a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they aren’t pretentious assholes.
irresponsibleeyouth:
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
angeldicks:
pants with fake pockets
cybergay:
my rooms a wreck but then again so is my life
internetexplorers:
*looks in the mirror*
what the fuck is that
bootipop:
Cheer up, you’re never alone! There is probably at least 1 bug in your room
vvendys:
99% of the puns/joke/pickup lines i tell my friends come from tumblr. thanks tumblr u a real homie
fake-mermaid:
i wonder what it’s like to be so good looking that people get nervous talking to you
me: I'm so full omg I'm not gonna eat for days
me: are those brownies
lohanthony:
do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren’t even talking
rabioheab:
people who brag about doing drugs are annoying but people who brag about not doing drugs are also annoying
intersectionalityis4lovers:
don’t trust men who have to insult other women in order to compliment you
a subset of this rule is don’t trust men who say ‘you’re pretty/smart/[adjective] for an indian/asian/[identity group]’
or ‘you’re not like other [identity group optional] girls’
cybercitrus:
People that think they are going to be magically independent when they become 18.
cigarsandcoke:
I’m stuck between wanting to be an adult, accomplishing a lot, and contributing a lot to society and lying on my floor, ignoring my responsibilities, and crying to sad songs alone in my room.
tygaryen:
One of my favourite things is talking about books.
I could literally talk about books all day.
New books, old books, loved books, loathed books, popular books, forgotten books.
BOOKS.
me: I'll just get on tumblr for a few minutes before bed
me:
me:
me:
me: Is that the sun
cokeflow:
my sense of humor is almost as dry as my love life
assiest:
my blog is an acquired taste
if you don’t like it
acquire some taste
scvlptures:
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like what
crolfer:
mihaelkeehling:
tomkirk:
my life is just a collection of poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background
#zero character development but a killer soundtrack
Tumblr app: I'm done loading
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter
piewinchesters:
The problem with Les Miserables is you can say it wrong and sound like a douche or you can say it right and sound like a douche
napoleonbonerhard:
napoleonbonerhard:
i literally cannot convey how long I laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob
i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career
i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole
