octopenis: An Atheist and a Christian sit down at a bar. They both knock back a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they aren’t pretentious assholes.
irresponsibleeyouth: The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
angeldicks: pants with fake pockets
cybergay: my rooms a wreck but then again so is my life
internetexplorers: *looks in the mirror* what the fuck is that
bootipop: Cheer up, you’re never alone! There is probably at least 1 bug in your room
vvendys: 99% of the puns/joke/pickup lines i tell my friends come from tumblr. thanks tumblr u a real homie
fake-mermaid: i wonder what it’s like to be so good looking that people get nervous talking to you
me: I'm so full omg I'm not gonna eat for days
me: are those brownies
lohanthony: do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren’t even talking
rabioheab: people who brag about doing drugs are annoying but people who brag about not doing drugs are also annoying
intersectionalityis4lovers: don’t trust men who have to insult other women in order to compliment you a subset of this rule is don’t trust men who say ‘you’re pretty/smart/[adjective] for an indian/asian/[identity group]’ or ‘you’re not like other [identity group optional] girls’
cybercitrus: People that think they are going to be magically independent when they become 18.
cigarsandcoke: I’m stuck between wanting to be an adult, accomplishing a lot, and contributing a lot to society and lying on my floor, ignoring my responsibilities, and crying to sad songs alone in my room.
tygaryen: One of my favourite things is talking about books. I could literally talk about books all day. New books, old books, loved books, loathed books, popular books, forgotten books. BOOKS.
me: I'll just get on tumblr for a few minutes before bed
me: Is that the sun
cokeflow: my sense of humor is almost as dry as my love life
assiest: my blog is an acquired taste if you don’t like it acquire some taste
scvlptures: depression is when you don’t really care about anything anxiety is when you care too much about everything and having both is just like what
crolfer: mihaelkeehling: tomkirk: my life is just a collection of poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background #zero character development but a killer soundtrack
Tumblr app: I'm done loading
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter
piewinchesters: The problem with Les Miserables is you can say it wrong and sound like a douche or you can say it right and sound like a douche
napoleonbonerhard: napoleonbonerhard: i literally cannot convey how long I laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career
i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole